Such Interesting Aunties: Foster-Curious Edition
Alex became a teen’s chosen Auntie by way of the Big Sister Little Sister program and a spell of foster parenting; Hanna provides respite foster care every other weekend.
Welcome back to Such Interesting Aunties – a monthly column in which we meet real-life Aunties and learn about their lives. Aunties’ experiences aren’t widely represented in popular media and it’s time to change that. Let’s see ourselves reflected; let’s make our experiences legible; let’s recognize that we are in this together!
December is generosity month at The Auntie Bulletin, and today we’re meeting two Aunties who have explored foster parenting in preliminary or short-term ways. Neither is a long-term foster parent – a selection I made deliberately because I don’t want us to feel intimidated by the high bar these Aunties set, or to feel guilty if fostering isn’t in the cards in our own lives. Foster parenting requires an enormous commitment of time, energy, and emotional and material resources, and for many of us – myself included, at least for now – it’s not possible. Yet I hope that, as Aunties, we can turn toward and support the foster care community regardless of our own capacity to foster. Rather than feeling guilty for what we aren’t able to offer, we can be curious about foster kids’ and foster parents’ experiences, come to better understand their needs, and learn to be allies and supports to foster families and champions for an actually-well-resourced foster care system. And for any readers out there who are currently fostering or are considering becoming foster parents, I hope today’s Auntie profiles will be a resource.
Speaking of resources, I want to let you know about a forthcoming book I’m so excited about: First Time Fostering by Laura the Foster Parent Partner. If, after reading today’s Auntie profiles you’d like to keep learning about fostering, this book is a tremendous resource that I anticipate recommending all the time going forward. It’s coming out in May and pre-orders help a lot.1
While I’m out here promoting a book, here’s your reminder that all of 2025’s affiliate proceeds from Bookshop.org go to support Treehouse Foundation. Their thing is, they build intergenerational co-housing communities that include foster families, youth who have aged out of foster care, and elders. I truly can’t imagine an organization better aligned to our mission and values here at The Auntie Bulletin. Look for an interview with Treehouse Foundation CEO Erika Kuester later this month!
Now here’s a preview of the Aunties I’m profiling today.
Alex (they/them) came to Auntiehood by way of the Big Sister Little Sister program. They were matched with a kid – whom they do indeed call their “little sister” – and over the years the two became close. When the little sister’s mom went through an especially hard patch, Alex became a foster parent. Now, what I love most about Alex’s story is actually that this foster placement didn’t work out: the advocacy demands were so great that Alex got very sick and eventually had to stop fostering. They were so guilt-ridden – but then, oh my gosh, things worked out kind of amazingly. Alex’s little sister moved to a new foster home nearby that was a really good fit, and Alex was able to go back to their Auntie role. Things at the kid’s mom’s house are still unstable from time to time, but the kid knows they always have a safe and welcoming landing place nearby. As Alex explains, “This relationship has been both challenging and rewarding in ways I never anticipated, and being able to keep it as an Auntie relationship has allowed us to keep it supportive for both of us.”
Hanna (she/her) always knew she wanted to foster. As soon as she had the space and means, she started the application process. Hanna serves as a respite care provider, offering short-term, part-time foster care for babies and children when their primary foster parents need a break. It’s a potentially fitting arrangement for an Auntie, not least because it allows for flexible and predictable scheduling. (Right now, for example, Hanna doesn’t have any respite care scheduled because she’s about to travel to support a friend who’s having a baby). Respite care has given Hanna a much clearer perspective on what parenthood might be like, helped her recognize that she does want to have kids, and taught her the necessity of cultivating a village of love, care, and support. She reflects: “There is no world in which I could foster without the support I have.”
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