KINSHIP SNACKS: How to Hold a Newborn

Plus: Texts from our dads; how to get more people in your life; tell parents they’re doing great; cute baby cracks up.

Here I am holding my newborn goddaughter. She's almost 17 now. It's kind of reassuring to see I've actually had these dark circles all along.

In celebration of my birthday the other day, get 30% off annual subscriptions – a rate you can keep forever. But beware the Ides of March – promo ends March 15.

NOTE: If you have lost a baby or have a child with severe health problems, today’s post might not be for you. It is a celebration of the first days of life of a basically healthy newborn, and if you had a baby who was not healthy, this one could hurt. Please take care.

Now Let’s Get To It: How to Hold a Newborn

What a gift to hold a newborn baby. They’re so beautiful, so perfect, so miraculous. Also, what a terrifying thing to hold a newborn baby. They’re so precious, so fragile, so breakable.

It’s mundane to hold a newborn. We’re in a hospital room or birthing center or somebody’s living room. There are shoes in a pile on the floor, a half-eaten sandwich in its cellophane on the side table, people are getting text messages. Yet it’s magical to hold a newborn. We take into our arms a person just arrived from nowhere, from the miracle of a womb, from the miracle of the stars.

Their newbornness is fleeting. In a week, they’ll have lost their umbilical cord stub and started to grown out of that stunned look. In a month, they’ll be able to see better, track faces, and start to hold their head up on their own. In two or three months, they’ll start smiling like a real human person.

For most of us, holding a newborn baby is a precious, brief, and rare experience. Let’s talk about how not to mess it up.

PREPARE. Behold the baby. Exclaim at their perfection – within hearing range of the parents. Wash your hands well with soap and warm water.

Dechko Uzunov (1927), Tri Zheni, from this children’s book which could be Bulgarian because it was published in “Sofiia.” This might be my favorite artwork ever published in this newsletter. New York Public Library Digital Archives.

PICK UP THE BABY. When your turn comes, slide your hand under the baby’s head and neck. Be careful of the soft spot at the back and top of their head where their skull hasn’t fully fused together. Then slide your other hand under their butt and back. Pivot the baby like an (American) football so their head cradles into the crook of your arm. As you get more comfortable, you will learn more baby holds.

Now trust yourself, grasshopper. You will not drop this newborn baby. You will be as careful as you’ve ever been in your life. It is a human instinct, and you have it.¹ Sit down if you’re worried.

You may think that’s it – au contraire! We’re just getting started. If you want to know how to welcome a new human into the world, give them your blessing, seize a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (to make fun of them), and have your life changed forever, upgrade to a paid subscription now! Now through March 15, annual subscriptions are 30% off, i.e. $35 US/year, and you get to keep that rate forever.